Hi beauties! I’ve mentioned a few times that I have been reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, and gosh do I love it. I imagine that Ms. Gilbert talks an awful lot like she writes, which I absolutely love. She’s authentic and vulnerable and creative. Which is exactly what the book is about: creative living beyond fear. Doesn’t that just sound magical?
I wanted to share one of my favorite parts of the book thus far with you (don’t worry, I’m not giving anything major away). Gilbert writes about living creatively at any age, and shares a story about a close friend of hers. Her friend excelled at and loved figure skating as a child, but stopped when she was an adolescent with fear of not being a champion, AKA not good enough. Gilbert says, “Ah, lovely adolescence–when the ‘talented’ are officially shunted off from the herd, thus putting the total burden of society’s creative dreams on the thin shoulders of a few select souls, while condemning everyone else to live a more commonplace, inspiration-free existence! What a system…” While she says this with a hint of sarcastic humor, how true is this for so many? Unfortunately, it was very true for me. Thankfully, I finally exited that phase of low self-esteem and worthiness issues, but, just like most humans, I feel twinges of it occasionally. The difference now is that I have the tools to deal with those feelings, and that’s what I want to get into today.
WHERE THE DO FEELINGS OF UNWORTHINESS COME FROM?
Well, that’s a pretty loaded question, and it is completely different for everyone. In the spirit of transparency (and major vulnerability) I am going to share mine, because chances are someone will connect with it on some level. Mine started when I was about 12. I was uprooted out of my comfort zone, moved to a new town, started a new school, and was forced to meet new people. In retrospect, I am very grateful for this (and absolutely do NOT blame my parents on any level), but at the time it sucked. The middle-school years are when children are learning, growing, and figuring out who they are and how they fit into the world, and THEN hormones are thrown in on top of it. I felt the need to shy away at what I was passionate about (and good at) in fear of what others would think about me. I didn’t speak up, in fact my voice was less heard. On top of all that, my body was changing. I have curves by nature (which I now love), but at that time it was just awkward. As you can imagine, fear ran it’s ugly little head and my worth started to diminish. This basically went on for the next 13ish years…
HOW CAN WE TRANSFORM UNWORTHINESS TO KNOWING OUR WORTH?
I truly wish I could wave a magic wand and tell you that this can happen in seconds, but the truth is, it’s a process. A process that is different and deep for everyone. Here are a few different ways that guided and assisted me on my own path:
- Try to figure out the root of where these feelings are stemming from, and go from there. Things that helped me along the process: journaling, talking to those close to me, finding a spiritual community that I connected with (this was HUGE for me), and practicing self-care.
- Recognize your fears, and ask yourself why you are afraid. There is no judgement in being fearful, but sometimes honoring why you are feeling that way is the first step in release.
- Be gentle with yourself. In my opinion, this is most important. As a society we have such a tendency to want immediate gratification, that we tend to forget that life is a process. Be gentle with yourself throughout the process.
As you can see, this book has sparked a lot of inspiration and creativity within me, and I highly recommend it. I hope this post was helpful for you, and if there is any way that I can be of support to you, please reach out. I’d love to chat!
xo. Jen
THE HAPPY, HEALTHY BALANCE 